A candy a day
by wanderingsmith
Summary: S/W - I want candy -EYEcandy! well, who doesn't? crack!fic'ish
1. Chapter 1

Summary: S/W - I want candy! well, who doesn't?? crack!fic'ish  
Rating: PG13  
Beta: comanche_rider  
Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this.

AN: _for momm2five, for making my day by being the first to use my review form! I started something totally different that appeared.. and then this took over! but hey, its fanfic, who am I to complain its not the one I expected?_

_Oh yes! and many thanks to fanmagicks for her inspirational video - Eyecandy! :D_

**Chapter one**

"How do you survive the stress?  I can't imagine having to put up with Rodney AND the IOA..."

John was only peripherally aware of passing the games room as he read his report; until he heard the next voice that is.

"Straight flush. Well... regular doses of eye candy help."

He froze, literally in mid-step, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open as several female laughs and giggles broke out in response to the words.  When the shock wore off, he took a few stealthy steps and put his back to the wall next to the door; Atlantis' weapons inventory hanging forgotten from his hand.

"I don't know, isn't that extra distraction?  I have nothing, just a pair."  That sounded like one of the scientists.

Teyla's response had an undercurrent of relaxed laughter that she rarely displayed in front of her team, "Eye candy *can* indeed be very distracting.  It is a good thing that being shot at refocuses the mind away from leather-clad backsides.  2 pairs."  More giggling, and now John winced and shuddered, wondering how much damage it was going to do to his psyche if he stayed here.

"Umm, true.  Although the zip in the blood *after* danger...  I don't suppose you could arrange some Scottish candy for me in the next mission.. could you Doctor Weir? Oh, and I'm out."

"Laura!"  Another of the scientists he couldn't name.  And some odd plasticky thunky noises which he assumed were made by whatever was being gambled being shifted to the winner.

"Well *you* can talk, you work with your big brain candy all day!"

"Rodney?"  Teyla sounded agog, and John couldn't help but agree.

"Of course not!  Radek."

"Hey!  Rodney's not so bad.  And when he's gagged he's *very* nice eye candy!"

There was a lot of silence as cards hit the table, and then the obviously choked back laughs erupted, including one John was very familiar with.  "We're sorry, Katie. Look at it this way: you don't have to worry about competition..."

"What do you like about him anyway?"  John wholeheartedly agreed with Cadman on *that* one.

"He can be very sweet."

"Teyla, can I exchange you a Hershey for that lollipop?"

"Certainly, Elizabeth.  I do not see the attraction of a candy that must be lick-"  It was a good thing the laughs and snorts were loud or the women would have heard John's moan of distress at the mental picture.

Elizabeth's laughter-threaded voice didn't *quite* 'help', "That's the advantage of some of these new shapes they have, you can just suck on them at your leisure instead of holding them up and licking."  This time his blushing and shuddering weren't of horror.. although he'd pay just as dearly in meetings and at night for *these* pictures being in his mind...

"Think we could get them to do a calendar for us?  Lorne in august.. ummm."  The unknown scientist's dreamy voice made John smirk; he'd have to tease the boy about *that* somehow!

"Carson would just laugh and ask which profile I'd like."  He could almost see Cadman shrugging confidently as she spoke.

"I believe Ronon has seen enough 'calendars' that he would immediately strip to his trousers... umm, perhaps we *should* ask them." definitely not the Teyla he knew!

A groan followed by the botanist's sighing voice, "Good God, Rodney would never let us hear the end of it.  2 cards please."

"I believe Radek would be secretly pleased.  And you Elizabeth?  Oh, and, 1 card for me."

John's ears were straining as he waited for the slow-to-come answer, "..No.  John would never do that.  He'd be happy to tease, but he would hate the idea."  His eyes closed as his shoulders dropped in relief; gods what a thought!  "I-"  John felt the change in the atmosphere at the interrupted word and straightened, "My apologies ladies, Katie's and Miko's 'candy' are demanding my attention."

John had about 2 seconds to make a noisy run for it.. or... stay.

* * *

Elizabeth was still smiling cheerfully as she left the room; it was a pleasant change to spend some time being silly with other women and the interruption didn't sound like imminent danger.  So turning into the hallway and facing John's amused eyes was a definite shock.  Before she could say something, he put a finger to his lips and nodded to the poker game getting back in progress.

As she headed away from the room with John at her side, she could feel a blush burning her cheeks as she replayed her last conversation with the girls.  Oh dear god.  Her only reassurance was the fact that John wasn't wearing an evil grin... had actually seemed... happy?

Once they were well away from the door, she took a fortifying breath and spoke quietly, staring straight ahead, "Go ahead, say it."

John's smile turned into a grin; trust Elizabeth to face the situation head-on. "Eye candy?"

Elizabeth glanced at him with a wince, but then tilted her head in curiosity and decreasing worry as she spotted the blush staining his cheekbones.  And the most definitely pleased expression. It was easy to forget sometimes, especially when she was preoccupied, that the smirking flyboy was just a cover.  Unlike most Air force pilots she'd dealt with, John didn't seem to have bought into the rep.  He still carried a little boy, puppyish half-shyness to mellow his cocky persona.  That wouldn't stop him finding a way to tease her sooner or later.. but it did make her want to be honest with him.  "Yes.  Eye candy.  Very therapeutic."  She kept an eye on his reaction and was pleased to see the grin widen; she wasn't blind to the fact that he worried about her.  And she wasn't going to object to having additional doses of eye candy offer themselves up!

"So if you get to call me eye candy.. that means I'm allowed to say you're hot.. right?"

John bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud as it was Elizabeth's turn to freeze in  mid-step and gawk at him. "What?  You mean I'm *not* allowed?  Well *that*'s hardly fair, Dr. Weir!"  He toned his response down to a gentle smile as she continued to stare at him in shock, finally shaking his head as he stepped closer and pressed a hand to her lower back to get her moving again, "Wakey wakey Elizabeth.."

Elizabeth felt his arm tighten around her as she stumbled, then made herself shake herself out of it.  Her voice still squeaked on her though, "Hot?"  The streak of pleasure she felt at the thought was.. okay, not *that* surprising; but still.  Since when did it matter to her that someone.. *John*, thought she was *hot*?

John raised a brow at her, not quite sure why she was so surprised, he hadn't hidden that he found her attractive.. had he?  "Yes, hot.  I always kind of assumed you knew that."

She just shook her head, looking away from him and turning toward the new labs the scientists had been exploring.

After a few steps in silence, John cleared his throat, "Yeah and, thanks for derailing that incipient idea..."

Elizabeth shot him an amused look, recovering from the realization that *he* probably wanted *her* in a calendar.  "It's a shame really; we could make a fortune.  Think about all the new equipment the Waterkeeper's alliance could buy!"

That actually made him think for a few seconds... but then the very notion of his picture being stared at by a pack of women.. whom he'd then have to get to follow his orders!  He shuddered, "No way!  Although, I guess if the others want to..." he shrugged.  Teyla was probably right about Ronon.  And Lorne and Carson.  "Just warn me so I can come up with something suitably deflating for McKay.  Otherwise I'll probably have to kill him."

* * *

Two days later Elizabeth was impressed with John's self-restraint.  She hadn't heard of any rumours about eye candy or calendars, and John himself had refrained from making any comments to her; at all.  Which was probably a good thing, because the latest 'recommendations' from the IOA were making her see red as it was, any more annoyances and she'd be growling.  Which is why she automatically glared when John walked into her office.

Unfazed, he gave her a teasing grin and dropped into his usual chair, putting a hand-sized cloth bag on her desk before lounging back.  By then her glare had softened to wry acknowledgement of her temper and he nodded for her to take the bag.  He waited for her to start opening the drawstrings before speaking with blank idleness, "Wasn't sure if you'd rather have them; or me."  He was half-ready to bolt out the door if she looked like throwing something at him, but he meant the words seriously enough.  Whatever he could provide to made the idiocy from the Milky way easier to bear...  And seeing her sit back and give him that flirty, caring smile as she unwrapped a sweet was just what he'd secretly hoped for!

"You last longer..." she grinned wickedly as he choked, then continued with a laugh and a lick for her other candy, "Or so I assume..."

AN: _so yes, smut muses have apparently died... RIP_

_Thanks Kal! yes indeed, Katie. I always forget that.. she must be a Kate in my mind! lol _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

John grinned slowly, "Doctor Weir, are you trying to seduce me?"

The shine in his eyes made her remember his voice calling her 'hot' and a shiver coursed through her.  Elizabeth licked her candy, trying to distract herself from just how lickable his *lips* looked.  Only realizing how the gesture could be interpreted when she saw his pupils dilate.   Her breath jammed in her throat as a flash of heat flowed outward from her core, her eyes helplessly locked with his, peripherally aware that his grin had vanished as his body went utterly still.  The rush of her blood overran the sounds of the control room, and yet she could hear John breathe as though he were right besides her.

The sudden sensuality was overwhelming, destroying the veneer of teasing that they'd hidden behind for so long.  Catching each other physically naked couldn't have done any better a job of forcing their awareness on each other.

The need for  oxygen finally made Elizabeth gasp, the soft sound half-breaking the spell between them.   They both blinked, bodies jerking; the almost-unity of their movement only emphasizing just how in tune their thoughts really were.

"I-"

"Elizabeth-"

Another second of staring was broken as Elizabeth suddenly had to bite back a giggle and John responded by looking down, then aside, anywhere but at the woman in front of him, as he chuckled, ruefully recognizing that he'd at least dragged Elizabeth into behaving like 14-year-old *with* him this time.

"I wasn't."

He looked up at the soft words.

Elizabeth smiled ruefully, "Trust me, flirting I can do; but seduction?  You'd know if I tried because you'd be laughing yourself silly."

Considering what they'd *just* been doing, John couldn't help himself, he just *had* to tease.  He waggled his brows, grinning, "So you *were* trying to seduce me!"  Watching the great Elizabeth Weir, teaser of John Sheppard extraordinaire, do a credible fish imitation in response cracked him up all over again.

When he got himself under control Elizabeth was giving him a dry look, "Yes, alright, shall we just agree that you're a little too easy to seduce, John Sheppard?"

About to retort, John started to freeze again as she took another lick at her lollipop, *just* catching himself before it took.   Whether it was deliberate or not, she *was* seducing the hell out of him and he was already wondering what excuse he could use to take his jacket off so he could carry it, hanging in front of him...  Damned thin-materialed pants that let every cat out of its bag.

"I think I'll plead the fifth on that one, boss."


End file.
